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This here lift, I tell ya, it’s been givin’ me a heap of trouble. Always somethin’ with these newfangled things. Back in my day, we didn’t have no fancy lift, we just used the stairs. But my old knees ain’t what they used to be, so I gotta rely on this contraption.

First off, the darn thing is noisy. Like a bunch of cats fightin’ in a metal bucket. Every time it goes up or down, it groans and creaks. Makes me jump outta my skin sometimes! I keep thinkin’ it’s gonna break down and I’ll be stuck between floors. That’s a lift problem nobody wants, I can tell ya that for sure.

And then there’s the way it shakes. Lawd, it’s like ridin’ a buckin’ bronco! You gotta hold on tight or you’ll be thrown around like a rag doll. I swear, one of these days it’s gonna shake my teeth loose. My dentures already cost a fortune. Another thing is, a lift problem like that is scary.

• The noise, oh the racket it makes!
• Shakin’ like a leaf in a hurricane.
• Sometimes it just stops, just hangs there.
• The buttons, half the time they don’t even work.

Sometimes, the lift just stops. Just plain stops. Right there in the middle of goin’ up or down. I gotta press the button a hundred times before it starts movin’ again. And even then, it’s slow as molasses in January. I coulda walked up the stairs faster, bad knees and all! It’s a common lift problem, I heard.

Then you got the buttons. Half the time they don’t even work. You push ’em, and nothin’ happens. Or you push one button, and it goes to a whole different floor. It’s like the thing’s got a mind of its own. And don’t even get me started on the emergency button. I pressed it once, just to see what would happen, and it took forever for someone to answer. What if I’d been havin’ a heart attack or somethin’? This lift problem can be dangerous!

I remember one time, I was goin’ down to the lobby to get my mail. The lift stopped, like usual, and I pushed the button. Nothin’. Pushed it again. Still nothin’. I started to panic a little. I was all alone in there, and it was gettin’ hot. Finally, after what felt like an hour, it started movin’ again. I was so relieved, I almost kissed the floor when I got out.

Another time, I was comin’ back from the grocery store. I had all my bags with me, and they were heavy. The lift started shakin’ somethin’ awful. I thought for sure it was gonna drop. I closed my eyes and started prayin’. When it finally got to my floor, I practically crawled out. I was shakin’ so bad, I could barely get my key in the door. This kind of lift problem can cause real fear, oh yes.

Now, I ain’t no engineer, but I know somethin’ ain’t right with this lift. They need to send someone out here to fix it proper. Someone who knows what they’re doin’. Not just some young fella who’s gonna poke around and make it worse. If you want to fix a lift problem, you need to know what to do.

I heard them talkin’ about tightenin’ some bolts and whatnot. And oilin’ the parts to make it run smoother. Maybe that’ll help with the noise and the shakin’. But they better check them cables too. I don’t want this thing crashin’ down with me in it. And they need to do something about the button situation.

• Tighten them bolts, they say.
• Oil the thing up, make it run smooth.
• Check them cables, make sure they’re strong.
• Fix them buttons, so they work right.
• Don’t want to be stuck, no sir!

This whole lift problem is a real headache. It’s supposed to make things easier, but it just causes more trouble. I’m startin’ to think I’d be better off just takin’ the stairs. At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about gettin’ stuck or thrown around. Yeah, a lift problem is not easy.

But like I said, my knees ain’t what they used to be. So I guess I’m stuck with this contraption, for now anyway. I just hope they get it fixed soon. Before it drives me completely crazy. Or worse, before it breaks down for good and leaves me stranded. That’s all I need, another thing to worry about. This lift problem needs to be fixed, and that’s all there is to it. They better do somethin’ about this lift problem. You know what I mean? They just need to fix this darn lift problem, that’s it.

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